Money for nothing and your chicks for free

How to make a few easy bucks. Easy, you throw a Doors party and call it a "festival". Just hire any Doors coverband, invite a few "Doors related authors" and some odd artists reproducing Morrisons face on canvas with a more or less passing resemblance and you're in. Make a lot of publicity and maybe even a few unsuspecting Doors fans from abroad pick it up and make the journey.

The first time this happened was in 2003, when an event like this labeled itself as "The first European Doors festival". Fans traveled to a run down suburb of Rotterdam to find themselves in some shabby community center where a bunch of local retards were rubbing shoulders with true, hardcore Doors fans. The poetry reading was something that reminded me of a scene of the "Blues Brothers" movie – only the chicken wire was missing. Please note that the music was great. I've always liked the "Matrix Doors".

But it was hardly in the same league as the yearly event in Los Angeles, where celebrities like Ray Manzarek, Robby Krieger and the late Danny Sugerman made their appearance. True, Los Angeles is their home town. All those guys need to do is hire a limo and they're done. But there is a slight difference between meeting "famous Doors related authors" and meeting what's left of the Doors themselves.

Who are these "Doors related authors"? Strange enough, the same names pop up all the time: Ineke Verheul, Hans Bezemer, Jan-Erik Hubele, Darryl Read and Jochen Maassen. No matter where you go, Utrecht, Rotterdam, Magdeburg, Illingen, they're always there. Hey guys, read my lips: if we haven't bought your book already, we're not interested. We could use your autographs for wallpaper by now. Isn't there somebody else writing anything interesting about the Doors anymore?

Well, I've bought your books and I read them all. Ineke Verheul has written a book about Morrison rising from the dead, strolling through modern day Paris contemplating his wasted life, helped by some infant wise guy and returning to the native Indians in the end. Hans Bezemer wrote a book on how to get laid and still feel sorry about yourself, comparing his alter ego with Jim Morrison and king Arthur in the last chapter. Jochen Maassens book is simply a colorful egotrip – nuff said. Jan-Erik Hubele wrote a book about the zillionth conspiracy theory on Jim Morrisons death – interesting, but hardly something new. Darryl Read did an album with Ray Manzarek – and that's all. He's just using the Doors scene to plug his completely Doors-unrelated stuff.

Please note, I have nothing against these guys. I spoke with them on a number of occasions and they seem really nice and friendly people. If you're a hardcore collector, you certainly want these books, because they are real collectors items. Some people are ripping out their hair, because they missed Maassens first book "Impressions of an anniversary" – it's out of print now and the prices are rising. But aren't there any other people in Europe who did something interesting Doors-wise? Obviously not.

So no matter where you go, you always get a slight variation on the same theme. I don't want to say that you can't have a good time at these "festivals" – quite the contrary. But it is hardly worth your hard earned cash if you don't happen to be around. Just do the math: the trip itself, a hotel and sometimes a hefty entrance fee. And with the obvious – and unfortunately rare exception – the bands aren't that much better than your local coverband. Unless you happen to like a certain brand of beer, I see no reason to go much further than your own community center.

And what about the community? Yes, you certainly will meet some well known faces and if you happen to go to Paris every year you might want to have to occasion to meet those people again. But it seems that this "family" is getting more fragmented each and every year. Community? Sure, but which one?

Still, I think that we've reached a turning point. Magdeburg is a great festival, featuring a lot of passable coverbands and this year they've shown they could do without any "Doors related authors". Illingen was the first festival where contributors outnumbered the paying visitors, leaving the organization with a considerable financial burden. Just yelling "Doors" doesn't seem enough anymore to fill your pockets, fortunately.

I know what you're thinking: "Hey Sharon, isn't it cool anymore to drink a few beers and have a good time?" Sure it is. Have all the good times that you want. Go to "Riders on the Storm" for all I care and listen to a horribly squeaking Ian Astbury. It couldn't have been worse if it really were a 60+ year old Morrison on stage, after a life of impotence, drugs, more drugs and rock and roll. It's your money anyway. In the end, you are the judge. But I've seen it all. I'll stay home in the future, listening to "An American Prayer" and hoping for better times. I've had enough of all these money making schemes. There should be better ways to save Jim Morrisons legacy, don't you think?